The evolution of worry.

Like most women, most moms, I often find my brain going in a million different directions with what needs to be done, what should be done, what can I do to get "it" done, when can it be done and it goes on and on and on. I find myself worrying over that which I cannot control. For example, when will we get orders? Where will we get orders? Will the Army dismantle 3rd brigade, booting us out of Ft Benning? Why am I worried about this? Whether 3rd Brigade comes or goes, we can come down on orders at anytime and no matter WHERE we get orders to, we WILL move. How will the girls handle moving? Won't it be sad when we move away from Grandma and Grandpa?

Most recently troubling my heart and my brain is Millie's birthday party. Millie has talked to me multiple times about not having "Millie sized friends," as she says. It troubles me very much. I think about it often. Despite my efforts, we are still struggling in the friend department. I mean we all know people here and we get along with people here, but outside of the girls school class, we haven't made any significant connections. There are a few avenues worth pursuing, but those people are moving soon. I sent out an invite to the 3 kids in Millie's class, grandma/grandpa and my sister in law and the only one who could come was grandma and grandpa. That troubles me very much. It hurts MY feelings for me and for Millie. We've made an effort to go to the others birthday parties and when it is time for a Millie party or an Autumn party, no one can make it.

This past week all of this has been bothering me. I cried all the way to church, dried my eyes, put on my smile and went in to church. Do you want to know what happened? Sunday night, Pastor Tommy spoke about this:

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:25-34.

This part of scripture is particularly hard for me because I do worry about food, drink, clothes, and housing. I also worry about so many other things, so many insignificant things. So many things that in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years won't even matter.

How can I change things? Well, I will have to just keep plugging along in the friend department. I don't know what else I can do there. I hope that Autumn and Millie will make a significant connection somewhere along the line. I will keep encouraging them too and I will set the example by not being so down about it. I am going to stop worrying about it. I am going to continue to take joy in the little, simple things we do.

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Like going for a little walk in our neighborhood to fish the lake.

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Walk downtown on the river walk.

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Stop to see the fountains.

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Lick as many things as possible.

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Wear goofy little dresses and smiles.

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Take my girls to cherry berry and call my mom to cheer me up.

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Swim in really cold water!!

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Wear cute little bows in my hair.

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Shop at my favorite store (The Fresh Market... TFM).

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Snicker at my silly Monday chores.

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Bust a gut at touch up paint fail!!!

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Pretend on facebook that I'm an evil genius by messing up touch up paint so that I can get a new paint job!!!

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Think of new ways to torture midgets with Gary Biders.

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Foster the best possible friendships with the people that are closest to us and truly care for our well being.

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Show love and appreciation where it is due.

I guess most importantly, trust that the Lord does have a plan for me and that those things I worry over, he can handle. Letting go of such a burden feels really good.

While Pastor Tommy was preaching this sermon, it was storming something terrible outside. Dear God, I got the message. Love,

Cherish

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