Life is a buffet.

Does it ever happen that it feels like you have enough on your plate and before you know it, life hands you a buffet's worth of food? I'm feeling that way a little bit. I'm trying to figure out exactly what it is that I am trying to say, so please forgive me if this isn't making a lot of sense.

Millie went to her follow up appointment with the eye doctor after completing some eye patch therapy. To my dismay, the eye patch made Millie's problem worse. The specialist all but told me that Millie would have eye surgery. Our next appointment is the end of this month where they will measure the refraction on her eye and if the doctor decides she needs glasses, she will wear them 3-4 weeks, then we will schedule surgery. If she does not require glasses, we will schedule surgery.

I was somewhat worried about this because who wants their child to have surgery, but I trust that everything will work out. I wish that she didn't have to have surgery, I wish I could have the surgery for her. I do not know if it will be scheduled before or after the big "d" that is coming up for our family. I would rather you be here, but at this point, that seems unlikely.

I've been slowly talking to Autumn about you going away. I don't want her to be completely shocked about it, but I also do not want her to worry or fret about it. She knows it is going to happen, I think that is enough for now. I do wonder how the girls are going to take it, but I know they will mostly mirror how I take it. That being said, I am proud to say that I am finally really getting that through my brain. If you want to know why your child is behaving a certain way, look in the mirror.

I know that this means that if I try to bottle up the fact that I'm worried not only for you, but for them, they will too. If I cry, and I will, because I miss you so much that my heart hurts, their hearts will hurt too. If I choose to smile, laugh and think of you often, they will choose that too.

There has to be a balance.

I guess that is why when I already have a full dinner plate, I do not need to partake in a buffet. This choice, I make. There is not much I can do about the if's in life, but I can choose not to stress myself out over them. It feels good to get that off my chest.

As most of you realize, I'm writing on my blog, it must mean one thing! Sean is away. Here are some pictures from last weekend where we went on a hike to Providence Canyon.

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Autumn did excellent on our hike. She did the most of it herself, navigating our way through the canyons and picking which ones we explored more in-depth.

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Anything she can do, I can do almost as good.

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Playing in the water.

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Oh my sweet Millie. How is it possible that one week from now you will be two years old?

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I had to share this picture because it totally cracked me up that Midget Millie felt the need to duck under that!!

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Cheese mom.

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My girls.

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Autumn wore her shoes for like 5 minutes during this two hour hike we did.

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Monkeying around.

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Wait mom. Another great shot of Millie.

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I don't want to miss moments like these and my heart is screaming please, don't leave me. Forever wishing you could stay. ALWAYS.

The Jordan's.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Sometimes the anticipation is harder than the deployment, once you get your groove. You're a pro-active person, and intentional about what you do. I'll be praying for you and your family, and I bet you'll get creative with how you choose to spend the time apart.

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