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Showing posts from May, 2013

Heading home.

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Today is a busy day. We have a play date with Boyd, from Autumn's class. I couldn't pass that up because Autumn has talked all year long about going to Boyd's house. I will probably work on packing when we get home from that. I am glad I am going home to see my mom. I think it will help us both feel better just to be near each other. Every since I was a little girl, my mom and I have gone through the worst things together. I know people say that it isn't healthy to have a "friendship" type relationship with your children while they are children, but I suppose that is something that happens when you are a child yourself having a baby. My mom was 17 when she had me. Anyway, for as long as I can remember, my mom and I have been a comfort to one another. My dad has an appointment with the surgeon tomorrow. My mom wants me to go with, but I think my sisters all want to go too. We shall see what shakes out from that. Hopefully we get the procedure sch...

The first and the last.

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This is Autumn on the (2nd day of school) first day of school, August 2012. Millie on her first day of school, complete with mix matched shoes and on the wrong feet! Both girls, this morning. I was shocked to see what changes there are among them. Even Autumn looks completely different to me and yet the same. Millie looks like a different human altogether. Today at school there was a pizza party for the kids. Autumn, Leah (the director's youngest daughter) and classmate Sierra. Autumn told me at home that: "Miss Keri and Miss Daisy are going to cry at my graduation." Deep in thought.... "I don't know what they are going to do without me." Oh my goodness that gave me a chuckle. Miss Keri told me that they were practicing handing out the diploma's and shaking hands when Autumn whispered to Miss Keri "I am going to miss you." Miss Keri said that nearly made her cry on the spot because Autumn does not show affection in that wa...

The forever wait.

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I have some information about my dad, but not much. The doctor (not the oncologist) said that it is possible the mass in his chest is an infection, although it could be cancer. The mass is 6 cm and growing fast according to the primary care doctor. At 4 pm today, my dad saw the oncologist and he said his best guess is that it is lymphoma. There is a cluster of lymph nodes at the base of his trachea. The possibilities are that he has: lymph gland clusters, lymphoma, germ cell cancer or an infection. The doctor that removed a mass from my sister, Madeline's thymus, will be removing a lymph node from my dad. Once that is done, they will be able to determine what it is we are facing. That doctor is currently in surgery and I don't know when that procedure will take place. Dr H (the oncologist) said that my dad's lab work looked really good. Whatever we are facing, it is in early stages (which we all knew because my dad was hospitalized in November for pneumonia and d...

Mother's Day.

For the most part today, I have enjoyed a really nice mother's day. We went to church this morning, Cherry Berry. Came home and did some reading, took a nap. Sean took us fishing and is now making me pizza. I talked to my mom for a few minutes, but she couldn't talk with me long. She is struggling and her struggle is our struggle. My dad has been coughing. He went to the doctor on Thursday. It is not pneumonia or bronchitis. They found a mass in his chest. Somewhere between his lungs and his heart. It is pressing on both. We have no other answers at this time. He sees the oncologist on Tuesday. I have been telling myself not to be upset about it until we know what we are dealing with, but I feel worried. I'm not ready to have this splashed all over facebook. My sisters all know, most of our family has been notified (close family, not extended). I'm not really ready to talk about it. Will Tuesday, 4 pm ever arrive? I don't know. Just pray...

Pine Mountain Trail.

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It is Cinco de Mayo and also Sunday. When we woke up this morning, for the first time in days, it was sunny. I decided we would HAVE to play hooky from church and go bask in the sunshine. I cannot believe it, but I convinced Millie she needed to wear "hiking" pants!!!!!!!!!! Millie's normal mode of transport. Autumn's. Jump! Sweet girl. It was weird seeing her in pants!!!! I mean, is she even my child? All sorts of things to be discovered on the trail. All kinds of fun to be had. Millie called these the spiders in the sky!! We discovered a few fish and a frog in there. The sunshine was wonderful. I have to be honest, I didn't feel bad about missing church at all. Pretty. I want to do some research on these things. I don't remember what they are, what they are called and are they edible?? The three chicks. Sean and Autumn. Autumn insisted on taking a picture of me and Millie. Autumn's turn. We t...