A Mere Stone.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.

The biggest untruth in my life to date.

To get you all caught up, I'm having surgery on Monday.


This cyst in my hand (Cicero, I named him) is being removed. It is wrapped around a nerve and it hurts. It hurts when I run, it hurts when I do push ups or pull ups. It hurts when it is cold outside. There are times it feels like there are molasses in my hand and it just doesn't want to move. Thankfully, I'm a right hander and this is my left hand.

Friday I go for my pre-op appointment. Then, after I grab Autumn from school, we leave for Charleston. We are celebrating Autumn's birthday with my family, like we have done several times now.

Sean leaves on Saturday for a TDY in Missouri.

We come home from Charleston on Sunday. Then my surgery is Monday. Sean will come home a week later and then Millie's surgery is on Tuesday (Feb 10th.).

Millie, sweet Millie. As her surgery date approaches, she keeps saying these things to me that make me want to curl up in a ball and cry!



First it was questions.

What if they drop my eye?

Will there be blood?

Will I have to wear my glasses?

Do I have to have an eye patch?

Are they going to put needles in my eyes?

Then statements.

I do not want stitches in my face.

I do not want to wear my glasses anymore.

I do not want God to send me to the grave yard.

I do not want to die.

Then today.

Today she told me she needed a rock as we were on our way out the door to get Autumn from school. I didn't know why. Millie often collects rocks. She wrote her name on it while I was driving. When we arrived at Autumn's school, she handed it to me and said:


I made this tombstone because I am going to die soon.

It does not seem to matter how much I keep reassuring her about her upcoming surgery, she still worries and frets over it.

I answer her questions to the best of my ability, but admittedly, I do not have all the answers.

I keep telling her that God cares about her and that no matter what, he will take care of her.

I honestly do not know what else I can say to her, so I just keep answering her questions, reassuring her and praying.

Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I cry out, please protect my sweet girl.


The Jordan's.

Comments

Michelle said…
Hugs Cherish!! Keeping you and sweet Millie in my thoughts and prayers... She comes from strong stock, she will make it through with flying colors I am sure! I can't imagine how scared you all must be... Lean on your support system, they're there for you! Wish I lived closer so I could help more, but sending you all big hugs!
January 28, 2015 at 1:52 PM
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