Hugs not drugs.

It was another lovely Sunday. We went to church this morning.

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Millie wore her Minnie Mouse costume. She walked up to people at church and very quietly said, "Millie. Minnie Mouse. So cute?" Oh my gosh, YES!! Adorable!!! I always get lots of compliments on Miss Millie.

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Moi. Why cannot I not shake this feeling of fat off me?!?

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Autumn bottom wanted to wear her cow girl boots today.

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So we went to church. Autumn and Millie went together in the nursery. After church, we came home, talked to you, did lunch, did nap. I finally switched Millie's door knob around.

About ten minutes after that, I heard Millie try to open her door and she said to herself, "Oh no. Door broking." Then she got in her bed and promptly took her nap.

About that time, Autumn and I started painting our fingernails and toes. Autumn painted mine and did most of her own. She was actually very good at it. You know how she pays attention to detail and fills every last spot and doesn't go out of the lines? Yep, perfect finger nail painter right there. Wish I would have taken a picture of that.

Once we completed that, I remembered that tonight was hat night for AWANA. I asked Autumn, "Do you want to wear one of your hats, one of Millie's, one of mine or one of daddy's?"

Autumn, "daddy's hat."

I went into your closet, which smells so strongly of you and makes me feel sad, so I usually avoid it. I see two of your hats on the shelf. I grab them and the first thing I do is smell them. Oh great, now I am crying. It is almost like closing your eyes and imagining the person is there right in front of you.

Now the selfish part of me doesn't want to give Autumn these hats. I want them for myself, but she is my child and this is a small thing she is asking for, who am I to deny her that when she so clearly wants and needs it.

I spend a few more minutes in the closet getting myself together.

I take the hats to Autumn and ask her which one does she want? She says to me, "Where are daddy's work hats? I want one of those." I didn't see any of your "work hats" in the closet. Autumn says, I want to wear one of my own hats if I cannot have daddy's work hat.

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She picked this one. I bought this from REI for $4.

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Cheese hat.

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Look at that face!!!!

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We have the sweetest kids!

We went to church. Autumn did AWANA, Millie did the nursery. I went to service. Did you know there is an unpardonable sin? I never knew that before.

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Look at Autumn's feet! That girl can run!

I love you and I miss you so much.

Feeling anxious.

Your current wife and favorite airman. xoxo

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The count: 107 days of needing hugs from daddy.

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