We went to church

As you know, Autumn is struggling, which means we are struggling. I feel completely inept as a mother because I do not know how to help her cope. This morning she climbed onto the coffee table near the front window that faces the driveway. She began to cry. I ran into the room (thinking she climbed somewhere and got stuck) to see what was the matter and she began pointing at the Jeep and screaming, "Daddy, daddy. Help me, Help me Daddy. Daddy, out." She was so upset. I removed her from the window, gave her the kitty cat and her blanket and we had a little cry together. How does one explain to a two year old that every time someone leaves, it doesn't mean it is permanent or for a long time or that daddy will be home soon?

I cannot even hardly talk about it without becoming overly emotional (sorry Angie). It hurts my heart in ways I never thought my heart could hurt. We just want you to come home Sean.

Besides that, we had a pretty good rest of the day. We went to the gym this morning. Autumn took a three hour nap!! She woke up in such a good mood. Then we headed to church on post for dinner and fellowship.

We had spaghetti, which Autumn picked at, but I guess we snacked too much at home. I was starving today for some reason. Autumn was interested in sharing:

Autumn and Riley
Riley's dinner! Oh I wish you could see the girls together. They are so funny. Riley called out for Autumn (sounds like she is saying Elmo) and Autumn says Riley too although I'm not 100 percent sure she realizes who Riley is.

So the girls started playing. Autumn of course blazing (or low crawling) a new trail, I guess she gets that from you because I like to stick to an established path.
Low crawling
You know how dirty her tights were by the end of the night?

on dirty floor
She must have crawled through those chairs like a hundred times and thankfully, she didn't notice the dirt on her sleeves and tights because she would have totally come unglued.

Follow me
Riley, follow me!

After we ate, I dropped Autumn off at the daycare then went to bible study. We talked about prayer. I was mostly quiet, just listening, taking everything in. I definitely enjoyed myself there and plan to go back next week. When I went to pick up Autumn, she was happy as a clam. The nice ladies there said she did just fine, that was good for me to hear. We came home, got her ready for bed, then cuddled. I noticed she goes to bed much easier if we spend some quality time cuddling together first. I have to tell you, it helps me feel better too.

I wish I could just wrap myself around her and take away the hurt, protect her from all that is bothering her and promise her that we are never going to leave her. For now, cuddling will have to do.

I love you and miss you. PS. I changed the name of the blog... Did you notice?

Your favorite wife and airman. xoxo

Sean and Autumn at Polychrome
87 days of missing you more than words can express.

Comments

CB3 said…
Hi Cherish, its Christine (MMT). We're going thru exactly as you and Autumn are. We have our cries together and I have lost patience with Coby too. I think I could have written parts of your post. Please know that you are not alone, i'm there with you and wish I could find a way to get Coby to understand that Chris will be back; its heart-breaking hearing them call for Daddy....

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