I'm not happy about it, but I'm back.
Sean's R&R ended yesterday. I didn't want to take him to the airport, but what choice did we have? He has to finish out his tour.
Friday morning we went out to the shoe store and picked me up some new shoes. I have been having a hard time with my foot. It has been bothering me something horrible. I am worried I may have a stress fracture. I started to suspect it was my running shoes causing me problems. Anyway, I got a brand new pair of New Balances and they feel great!!!
After getting my shoes, we headed home so Sean could put his uniform on. We left and started making our way to Atlanta. We stopped at a Shake n' Steak for lunch. We all had a nice time, but I could feel the sadness creeping up in my heart. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom to get myself together.
We made our way to the airport. As we were arriving, Millie and Autumn both informed me they needed to use the bathroom. We parked in the garage and walked, and walked, and walked and finally found the bathroom. While we were in the bathroom, Autumn told me that she didn't want to leave her daddy there. I explained to her that we were not leaving daddy there, he would get on an airplane and fly to where it is he works at. I told her we needed to be strong and say good bye and not cry. She asked me why. I told her that we wanted daddy to know we would be OK. Autumn told me she could do it.
So we walk out of the bathroom and pick up Sean. Then the dreaded walk, walk, walk. Once we make it back to nearly where we started, Autumn hugged Sean, Millie hugged Sean and I hugged Sean. We all said our I love yous. As we were walking away, the girls were saying, "I love you daddy." It put me over the edge. I couldn't help but have the tears falling down my face. I don't think the girls knew I was crying, I was very much trying to hold it all in.
By the time we made it to the car, Sean called me and told me that his flight had been cancelled and he would need to check in tomorrow at 11 am. We both decided that we just couldn't go through that good bye again, so Sean got a hotel and hopefully a good night sleep. We also didn't want to confuse the girls. There is a strong association with airports, Sean, and working.
After dropping Sean off, I was feeling quite emotional and made a few crying phone calls to people. Everyone made me feel a little better though. Then we went to Tanger Outlet and I bought Autumn some new clothes. She was really in need of 5T pants and shirts.
After shopping Old Navy and Carters we made our way to Jennifer's house. We ate dinner over there and had cupcakes. I finally dropped off the clothes for Violet (just in time as Jennifer left for Kentucky today).
Everyone slept well last night, but I went to bed crying. I just wish I could put into words the kind of hurt my heart felt to hear and see our children telling you they love you as we were walking away from you for the next four months. It is a hurt so deep I often wonder if I will or can ever recover from it? Can they? Then I feel so guilty because I at least have their comfort, their physical presence, their little hands in mine, their little arms around my neck and what are you left with? Walden.
I'm so glad Autumn allowed you to take Walden back.
So, if we could do it all over again, would we do R&R? Yes. Most definitely. I was worried that the second time leaving would be too much for Autumn, but she seemed to handle it quite well. She likes lists and she keeps going over with me, "First is Thanksgiving, then your birthday, then Christmas, then New Year, then Autumn turns 5 and then my daddy comes home." Yes! You put it that way and it doesn't sound so horrible does it?
Now that it is Saturday, what did we do? Once we woke up, we just had to have some cupcakes.
We donned our aprons.
Everybody convened on the counter....
I've started letting Millie do more and more and try not to worry about the big mess she WILL make.
Autumn added the eggs one at a time.
Started the mixer...
and waited for magic to happen.
Millie had a little bit of a hard time adding the batter.
so she came up with a different method. It actually worked out just fine.
Autumn needed little to no help. She did really great.
After cupcakes, we headed out into town to run some errands. During that time, Autumn did this:
She surely does make me laugh.
The girls had their bath and then Millie busted her face (broke her lip tie and bled, bled, bled). Now they are eating dinner and going to bed shortly. Time change tonight. OH JOY!
The count: 118 days and 1
Friday morning we went out to the shoe store and picked me up some new shoes. I have been having a hard time with my foot. It has been bothering me something horrible. I am worried I may have a stress fracture. I started to suspect it was my running shoes causing me problems. Anyway, I got a brand new pair of New Balances and they feel great!!!
After getting my shoes, we headed home so Sean could put his uniform on. We left and started making our way to Atlanta. We stopped at a Shake n' Steak for lunch. We all had a nice time, but I could feel the sadness creeping up in my heart. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom to get myself together.
We made our way to the airport. As we were arriving, Millie and Autumn both informed me they needed to use the bathroom. We parked in the garage and walked, and walked, and walked and finally found the bathroom. While we were in the bathroom, Autumn told me that she didn't want to leave her daddy there. I explained to her that we were not leaving daddy there, he would get on an airplane and fly to where it is he works at. I told her we needed to be strong and say good bye and not cry. She asked me why. I told her that we wanted daddy to know we would be OK. Autumn told me she could do it.
So we walk out of the bathroom and pick up Sean. Then the dreaded walk, walk, walk. Once we make it back to nearly where we started, Autumn hugged Sean, Millie hugged Sean and I hugged Sean. We all said our I love yous. As we were walking away, the girls were saying, "I love you daddy." It put me over the edge. I couldn't help but have the tears falling down my face. I don't think the girls knew I was crying, I was very much trying to hold it all in.
By the time we made it to the car, Sean called me and told me that his flight had been cancelled and he would need to check in tomorrow at 11 am. We both decided that we just couldn't go through that good bye again, so Sean got a hotel and hopefully a good night sleep. We also didn't want to confuse the girls. There is a strong association with airports, Sean, and working.
After dropping Sean off, I was feeling quite emotional and made a few crying phone calls to people. Everyone made me feel a little better though. Then we went to Tanger Outlet and I bought Autumn some new clothes. She was really in need of 5T pants and shirts.
After shopping Old Navy and Carters we made our way to Jennifer's house. We ate dinner over there and had cupcakes. I finally dropped off the clothes for Violet (just in time as Jennifer left for Kentucky today).
Everyone slept well last night, but I went to bed crying. I just wish I could put into words the kind of hurt my heart felt to hear and see our children telling you they love you as we were walking away from you for the next four months. It is a hurt so deep I often wonder if I will or can ever recover from it? Can they? Then I feel so guilty because I at least have their comfort, their physical presence, their little hands in mine, their little arms around my neck and what are you left with? Walden.
I'm so glad Autumn allowed you to take Walden back.
So, if we could do it all over again, would we do R&R? Yes. Most definitely. I was worried that the second time leaving would be too much for Autumn, but she seemed to handle it quite well. She likes lists and she keeps going over with me, "First is Thanksgiving, then your birthday, then Christmas, then New Year, then Autumn turns 5 and then my daddy comes home." Yes! You put it that way and it doesn't sound so horrible does it?
Now that it is Saturday, what did we do? Once we woke up, we just had to have some cupcakes.
We donned our aprons.
Everybody convened on the counter....
I've started letting Millie do more and more and try not to worry about the big mess she WILL make.
Autumn added the eggs one at a time.
Started the mixer...
and waited for magic to happen.
Millie had a little bit of a hard time adding the batter.
so she came up with a different method. It actually worked out just fine.
Autumn needed little to no help. She did really great.
After cupcakes, we headed out into town to run some errands. During that time, Autumn did this:
She surely does make me laugh.
The girls had their bath and then Millie busted her face (broke her lip tie and bled, bled, bled). Now they are eating dinner and going to bed shortly. Time change tonight. OH JOY!
The count: 118 days and 1
Comments