Another trip.

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I am packing us up for another trip. We are headed out in a few hours to my mom's house. I'll come home with one extra person and I couldn't be more excited about it. Autumn has been talking about her cousin, Katie coming to our house for weeks. She asked me a few days ago if Katie was going to be our kid now.

In other news, Millie did something bad yesterday. In the morning yesterday I turned the playstation on for Autumn and the playstation made this horrible noise. I pushed the button to pop out the sponge bob dvd that was in there and the noise stopped. I thought it was weird but didn't think much else about it.

Last night I went to put in a chick flick and I saw something gold sitting on the lip of the playstation dvd input. Immediately I knew what it was and who did it. It was a chuck e cheese coin and it was MILLIE!!!!!!!!!!! What a menace to society. I was able to get it out rather easily, but I quickly realized there was another one in there. I couldn't get that one out. The playstation is still working (for the moment).

I was pretty mad about it and told Millie to go to bed. She went to her room and shut the door. I checked on her about ten minutes later and she said, "sorry. mum."

I had the opportunity to have a talk with Millie and the conversation turned to you. I asked her if she missed you and she said "yessssss." Then I asked her (mostly because I was curious) "where is daddy?" Millie thought about it for a minute and then looked at me and said very quietly, "hiding" there was a long pause and she said "and seeking."

It gave me a little bit of a chuckle, but it made me so sad too. I sang the bus song with her and kissed her goodnight. Autumn went down without a fight last night.

I had a hard time sleeping and cried myself to sleep. I know that eventually we will all settle into this, but it is so long. I cannot stand it. Do you know I haven't washed the sheets yet because right now, they still smell like you. I decided that I'll wash them when we get back, but not your pillow case.

I miss you Sean James Jordan. I miss your face. I miss your shoulder. I miss your hands. Sometimes writing this blog feels the same as talking to a brick wall. Just putting words out there with nothing in return. I guess that is the way love goes sometimes and this is just where we are.

Your current wife and favorite airman. xoxo

The count: 18 days of falling tears.

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